Have you ever felt like, "What's my point?"? Really, what is it? Why am I born here, with these abilities and disabilities? This question for me actually is the Welcome sign of my thoughts. When I start thinking about life in general, from education to the name of my first child, it is always the first sign. What I see is "What are you doing?" or "Hey, did you do something finally of importance?". It's the welcome sign that when you pass by it the first time, you think a lot about it until you reach your final destination, the thought that got you into your "subconscious square"in the first place. With time you kind of develop the "I am used to it" situation. You pass by that sign and you think for a while and just continue with other thoughts. We just gave up, and are just waiting for just a couple of chances swinging by so we could hop on and enjoy the ride. Waiting to do, and to give. Anticipating to ultimately have your own light house built in people's thoughts.
The problem always comes when you are waiting, eagerly. To make it more apparent, I am about to be an engineer. Since I started going to engineering college, I have been told "You gotta work practically, and use your hands. Screw something up and fix it.". I am utterly with this sentence and I believe in it, and these are the chances normally and almost-engineer dreams of. For me these chances we at the palm of my hand quite a few times. Some of which are topics I am not even remotely interested in, and others that I would've died for. I had such a privilege some time ago, to work on a project that could've been taken seriously to a whole other level and finally be a worldwide event, like inventing the first I-phone for instance. Anyways, I applied, got interviewed, and got accepted. This got me so intoxicated and ecstatic that I actually started walking the streets full of energy.I enjoyed everything. I used to waving goodbyes to people I don't even know. I, at last, reached the time where I will say "I did that.". Unfortunately, shit happens, and life happens. You start believing all that crap you claim to be true just to make yourself feel better, when such a possibility just gets vanished. One of those things for me is the awful "Jinx". This is something I, unluckily, believe to be true.
The thing is, as a way of expressing my joy, I told the whole world about that opportunity. Therefore, as I believe, weeks later I got a call, "Sorry, but due to recent problems in the company, we will not be funding or managing this project in Egypt. We will keep in touch if something comes up.". This "Jinx" problem, I happen to encounter a lot and on numerous and various occasions. To make my interpretation much more insane, I even used to trying it out with people. Meaning I used to try telling one friend at a time what an amazing chance I have and notice if it got blown away or not. While daydreaming to find the person that will not let the "Jinx" loose, I started to wonder, am I a terrible person to act, or to think in such way. I took an initiative, and just focused for some time with people, and I noticed everything about them. Hey! We all get crazy from time to time, and it turns out it's more common than you can think. There is sometimes the one that over works it, that , if he cans, he wouldn't say "I gonna use the restroom" just to take caution of the "Jinx". Others just let the opportunity for chances to stand stronger and not get blown away by the first blow.
So ... am I still alone on this thought? I am actually uninterrupted with this "Jinx". It seems to me that it is a part of life that I have to just cope with. It is as typical and frequent to encounter as the questioning one gets thinking about culture, traditions, personal beliefs and religion.
The problem always comes when you are waiting, eagerly. To make it more apparent, I am about to be an engineer. Since I started going to engineering college, I have been told "You gotta work practically, and use your hands. Screw something up and fix it.". I am utterly with this sentence and I believe in it, and these are the chances normally and almost-engineer dreams of. For me these chances we at the palm of my hand quite a few times. Some of which are topics I am not even remotely interested in, and others that I would've died for. I had such a privilege some time ago, to work on a project that could've been taken seriously to a whole other level and finally be a worldwide event, like inventing the first I-phone for instance. Anyways, I applied, got interviewed, and got accepted. This got me so intoxicated and ecstatic that I actually started walking the streets full of energy.I enjoyed everything. I used to waving goodbyes to people I don't even know. I, at last, reached the time where I will say "I did that.". Unfortunately, shit happens, and life happens. You start believing all that crap you claim to be true just to make yourself feel better, when such a possibility just gets vanished. One of those things for me is the awful "Jinx". This is something I, unluckily, believe to be true.
The thing is, as a way of expressing my joy, I told the whole world about that opportunity. Therefore, as I believe, weeks later I got a call, "Sorry, but due to recent problems in the company, we will not be funding or managing this project in Egypt. We will keep in touch if something comes up.". This "Jinx" problem, I happen to encounter a lot and on numerous and various occasions. To make my interpretation much more insane, I even used to trying it out with people. Meaning I used to try telling one friend at a time what an amazing chance I have and notice if it got blown away or not. While daydreaming to find the person that will not let the "Jinx" loose, I started to wonder, am I a terrible person to act, or to think in such way. I took an initiative, and just focused for some time with people, and I noticed everything about them. Hey! We all get crazy from time to time, and it turns out it's more common than you can think. There is sometimes the one that over works it, that , if he cans, he wouldn't say "I gonna use the restroom" just to take caution of the "Jinx". Others just let the opportunity for chances to stand stronger and not get blown away by the first blow.
So ... am I still alone on this thought? I am actually uninterrupted with this "Jinx". It seems to me that it is a part of life that I have to just cope with. It is as typical and frequent to encounter as the questioning one gets thinking about culture, traditions, personal beliefs and religion.
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